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Lead Like A Girl

Enjoy Your Body (The Revisited Post-Baby Edition)

10/23/2017

Saw this post in my "I posted these once but maybe it's time again" file.

Can't say I have really been enjoying my body lately (although my baby sure has as we are still on the breastfeeding journey that on some days feels like it may never end).

In fact, is there an opposite to enjoying your body. Maybe the opposite is kinda hating it...or at least being very annoyed by it. That's been me lately. Just...ANNOYED!

But why? Has it done anything wrong? Not even close. In fact...it has done a bunch of stuff RIGHT. Like growing an entire human in just 9 short months. WHAT?! How in the world could I be annoyed with such a miracle maker?

And yet, here I am. Wishing I was still a size 6. Wishing I could still run a 9-minute mile. Wishing I could eat ice cream and not get fat. Ok...maybe I never pulled off the last one...but I was at least willing to eat less ice cream & find happiness in my bowls full of broccoli, which is NOT happening these days.

AS I write this, I am asking myself if I want to keep feeling this way. The answer is a resounding NO. It is just no fun to look in the mirror & think negative thoughts about a body that has done so much for me & with me. Starting today, I vow to find the parts of my reflection I am proud of. Something new every day until I have officially said, "I love you & I am grateful for you" to every dang part of my body. Because I deserve it. You do too. Seriously. Who's with me?!

ORIGINAL POST:
"Enjoy your body." It's probably the sexiest thing a man has ever said to me. He said it as I left for yoga class. I remember it every time I step on my mat.

And then...I DO enjoy what my body is able to do. Thru every torturous twist, challenging stretch, & impossible posture. In the middle of each moment where I am uncomfortable, but also aware I am capable of what the instructor is asking me to do. And in those edgy, uncomfortable moments I find the thing I can enjoy. The new openness I am creating in that moment. The old boundary I blew past into new territory. The possibilities I discovered exist for me.

And then I take those discoveries off my mat & back into the "real world" where I smile when things get uncomfortable...because I know that means something amazing is about to happen if I am willing to enjoy the ride, discomfort & all. So grateful for those brilliant words & all they have given me over the last few years!! What seemingly simple words have changed the trajectory of your life?

Super Truth: You MATTER! Just. As. You. Are.

10/23/2017

Just another day at work. With JAZZ HANDS!!

I am in a state something between giddy laughter & tears of gratitude.

I am incredibly blessed to do the work I do...but it is the people I get to work with that make my job the most amazing one on the planet!!!

Although I often get positive reviews following a class or applause after a key note, I sometimes wonder if I really make a difference. After all, I am but one girl (usually wearing a cape, tiara, "no bullshit" hat, or doing some other nonsensical thing that seems incredibly wrong considering I am working inside Corporate America).

I am silly. I am awkward. I talk to much & have a story for everything. EVERY. THING. Last month I had to come running out of a session in search of stain remover for the coffee I spilled all over myself & my WHITE skirt...and again 10 minutes later when I STILL hadn't tightened the lid on my coffee cup and spilled on myself a 2nd time. Good grief!!.

My family knows these things...but they are stuck with me.

My friends know these things...but keep me around anyway (for entertainment purposes, I suppose).

Even my housekeeper knows it. She showed up one day with what she believed was the perfect gift for me...one she couldn't resist buying. It is a sign that reads: "I don't need to flirt...I will seduce you with my awkwardness."

Yep...she nailed it, alright.

But these people are with me for the long haul. Day in & day out. They know I mean well, even if I execute my intentions rather poorly sometimes. So they are gracious. Forgiving. Loving. Again...I am lucky.

But what about the people I meet who don't know me all that well. The ones that spend an hour with me in a keynote or a few days inside a tiny corporate classroom. Sometimes I ask myself, "Can who I am possibly matter or make a difference to them?"

Well, today I got my answer.

What's life without random push-up contests & lunchtime runs?

A participant in one of my 2-day classes last year sent me the most thoughtful message. It caught me completely off guard & gave me the strength I need to do the next leg of a marathon work season. It means so much because I was in a marathon work season when his class happened. I showed up jet-lagged, over-extended, running on fumes...but apparently I still did an ok job. You know...in the sense that I wore a cape, made toys part of the learning, had a push-up contest with one of the participants, & probably told too many stories.

But that's how I roll.

And you know what...that's how I'm going to keep rolling. Because this man took the time to let me know I made a difference. To let me know that the material was good, but that my joy is the real gift. To share that my passion had more of an impact on him than my knowledge. And for that...I am so grateful.

Someone in your life has had an amazing impact on you. Why not take 5 minutes to write a note letting him or her know that?! Or better yet, take 10 minutes & tell TWO people! We all need to hear that we matter. Because in the chaotic mess that we call life, even if we knew it at some point. We forget.

So let's help each other out. A few words can have a powerful effect. And not just for the person who reads them...but also for the person who writes them!!

I'll share the note that made me giddy + grateful in the first comment below just in case you need a little inspiration. But really...you got this. You are perfectly smart & wonderfully talented. You know exactly what to say & who needs to hear it. So start there.

Because YOU matter. And when you know that, it's so much easier to tell someone else that they matter too.

THE ORIGINAL INSPIRATION MESSAGE:

Hi Leslie,

You may or may not remember me, but you taught me in an agile facilitator class in 2013. While your class taught me new ways of thinking and some new skills, the class in itself did not have the largest impact on me. Let me explain…

I have recently been asked a powerful question; “the job is yours, but what do you really want?” I started a list and the funny thing is, you were the second list item I thought of. I wrote down; “to be like Leslie, in her joy of life and work”. I was actually stunned that came out of me…

Your pure joy and happiness was awe inspiring for me and a year later that is what remains with me… Thank you for being you, at least in those 2 days you spent with me! After reading Penny Perspectives, I think you are like this more often than not….

Please-Please don’t change, your true gift is the joy you freely offer to the world.

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that who THEY are matters, please share!! We all need reminders once in awhile of just how much of a difference we make...even if only to one person! Thanks to those who remind me when I forget...especially the folks I consider my own personal Justice League! Friends, family, colleagues, & students who work & play with me in this one precious life we have!!

This post brought to you by a woman who loves her tribe and will never stop looking for ways to make our work and our lives together fun + meaningful!

SUPER TRUTH: Words Can Either Build or Destroy

8/27/2017

Trust is so important! I always want my hubby to feel like I have his back!

One of my favorite concepts is that nothing is either good or bad...it’s all in how we view it. I like to say that you can use a knife to cut a steak or stab someone, neither of which has very much at all to do with the knife. Much in the same way, you can use the words you say to nourish someone or cut them down...it is entirely up to you.

This concept was weighing heavily on me the other day after my husband said something that felt like a like a literal blow to the gut. And I mean full on body tensing, breath holding OUCH!

He said, “I can’t trust you.”

Well that seems like a problem in a marriage, no?

It wasn’t all he said, and fortunately in context, I thought I knew what he actually meant. But that didn’t make the words “I can’t trust you” hurt any less.

I slept on it (to make sure I wasn’t overreacting, as I have been known to do a time or two in my life...and by a time or two I mean HUNDREDS of times). But after giving it a solid sleep & some careful consideration, I decided it was something that I needed to bring up with him.

Fortunately, we have a pretty good history of working out language issues in a way that allows us to easily tackle what could be some pretty touchy topics. I believe I owe this in large part to a lesson I learned from my first facilitation client.

Back in the early days of my business, I used my facilitation skills to help organizations with a lot of process improvement work. I was often brought in by a person high up in the food chain who saw an issue that needed to be resolved. Many times, this issue was not something they could actually help resolve. Instead, we had to get a team of people from across departments in the organization to come together to look at the broken process from start to finish. The person who brought me in was likely only the one who funded the whole shenanigan...but couldn’t actually do any real work in making the process better.

This was the case with my first client. Chuck, the awesome & supportive sponsor who brought me in, would kick off our sessions with an overview of where he hoped we’d end up and then head out to do high level executive type stuff. The rest of the group & I would chug along for 2-3 days at a time evaluating process steps, hypothesizing potential improvements, & coming up with action plans to test our ideas between sessions.

At the end of just about every session I have ever done, I ask the room for “Plusses & Deltas.” Plusses are the things they liked & wanted to see more of moving forward. Deltas (the international sign for change) were things they found discouraging, frustrating, or otherwise didn’t enjoy. If possible, we would try to change as many of those things before the next session as we could.

Well, every day that we ended with the “Plusses & Deltas” exercise, the same thing would show up on the list: Chuck wasn’t here to see how hard we worked.

When I facilitate, I try to stay neutral & help people see patterns or behaviors they might not otherwise see.

As a facilitator, I am pretty much Switzerland in every conversation. It’s not my job to take sides. It’s simply my role to hold up a mirror and reflect back to participants what I see happening. In this case, I could show the group that Chuck really cared by bringing in a facilitator to help them solve their problem (after all, I wasn’t a cheap fix!). He was giving them all the resources they needed to create a better process. He trusted them. They understood this...but they still didn’t like the fact he wasn’t there to see how hard they were working. It basically bummed them out.

This meant I had another mirror opportunity. I could show Chuck how his absence was deeply felt by the group.

I started small. In my session write-ups I would include the comment “Chuck wasn’t at the session to see how hard we worked.” No diatribe or explanation...just the comment.

But that didn’t change things. Chuck still wasn’t coming to the sessions.

A few sessions in, I swung by Chuck’s office to see how things were going from his perspective. He seemed pleased & continued to think having me there to usher them through this process was a good investment. I asked what he thought about perhaps coming to the next session. He seemed kind of perflunctacated. Annoyed. His brow actually furrowed a bit. When I dug deeper, it turned out he had seen the comments. Repeatedly, in fact. But he simply didn’t understand why they needed him there since he could in no way help do the actual work.

Since one of my superpowers is helping people understand things through the use of stories & analogies, I dug deep to see what I could come up with for poor, confused Chuck.

“Well Chuck, I think it goes a little something like this. When I was 9, I took a lot of dance lessons. Tap, jazz, hula, clogging, ballet...you name it. My dad paid for me to take all of those lessons because he loved me & wanted me to be happy, much like you are paying for your team to get the help it needs improving its processes. But it didn’t matter to me as a 9-year old how much money he was spending on my dance classes. If he wasn’t sitting front & center at the big recital...he had a pissed off ballerina on his hands. I think that’s what you’ve got going on here. These guys have been working hard & they want you to at least be there for the wrap up each day...that’s THEIR recital. And when you’re not there, you’re creating a room full of pissed off ballerinas.”

When I said this, a big smile came across Chuck’s face as he leaned back in his seat. I was dying to know what was making him grin like that...so I asked.

“Well,” Chuck said, “I just wasn’t like that as a kid. In fact, when I played baseball, it made me really nervous to have my parents at the games. So much so that my performance actually suffered when they were there...so I asked the not to come. I guess I was trying to treat my team like I’d want to be treated by not crowding them...giving them space without feeling like I was hanging over them.”

As we continued to chat about it, we decided we had to share these stories with the team. And as we did, we helped them to create language that would aid them in asking for what they needed in a funny, non-threatening way.

Anytime people were feeling under supported or like they needed a little help, they could simply say, “I’m feeling a bit like a pissed off ballerina over here.”

Conversely, if management was crowding them or watching over them in a way that made them feel nervous or diminished their performance, they could say, “I’m feeling like a baseball player...quit crowding my plate!”

It was brilliant (even if I do say so myself!). They’d found an easy & FUNNY way to have what could have been otherwise difficult or even impossible conversations. All it took was one quick comment for everyone to know exactly what was going on. They had created a common language they all understood.

Sometimes it's hard to tell fantasy from reality. One day I'm talking about B&Bs in Maine, the next day we are getting married in an Irish Castle! Oh, my poor husband!

Flash back to my marriage & the sudden alarm I felt that I couldn’t be trusted by my husband.

After sleeping on it for the night, I asked him more about what he had meant by his comment. He replied by telling me about an incident early in our relationship where my mom & I had gotten all excited about a writing contest where the grand prize was B&B in Maine. Wouldn’t it be fun to win that & own a B&B?!

As mom & I had talked about it with my husband (practically renaming the rooms & pointing out how we’d decorate the thing), he’d been drafting his entry in his mind. He was taking everything we said at face value. Clearly we wanted to be living at a B&B in Maine.

Only...we really didn’t. We just liked the idea of it & had fun getting carried away with the story of what would happen if we won. But who would actually leave warm, sunny Las Vegas to face winters in Maine?! Ew...gross.

It turns out Mom & I do that a lot. A wild idea will cross our paths and we’ll just run with it. All the way to the ends of the earth if we’re in the mood. But only in words...with no real intention of ever acting upon it. The idea bouncing around is all the fun we need. In the span of an hour we can be innkeepers in Maine with more details figured out than someone who actually owns an a dang B&B…no moving boxes required.

And so when my husband said he couldn’t trust me (which really hurt when he said it), what he really meant was he was wondering if what I was saying was another B&B in Maine (which makes me laugh when he says it).

And so now, like my clients with their ballerinas vs. ballplayers construct, we have a way to ask if this is a real brainstorm or a just for fun but never gonna happen brainstorm. All either of us has to say is, “Is that a B&B in Maine?” This makes us laugh (mostly at me). And it keeps things from escalating to the point of damaging the trust we’ve spent years building.

Life’s a journey. We learn as we go. Sometimes we’re pissed off ballerinas. Sometimes we’re overcrowded ballplayers. And sometimes we’re would be innkeepers in Maine. All we gotta do to keep it from being painful is create a common language that makes us chuckle instead of cringe. To use our words in a way that can bring us closer together rather than damaging the closeness we’ve worked so hard to build.

And let’s face it...only one of us over here in Riley Town will ever have to ask about B&Bs in Maine. The other of us (me) will just have to pause for a second to check in with herself. Because in truth, I don’t always know at first. Which is an interesting thing I have learned about myself since living with my husband. Unfortunately up until this point, it’s been through his suffering. But hopefully this new common language will help alleviate or even prevent future cases of angst.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a B&B in Maine with my name all over it...

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that different words can make a hard message happier, please share!! We all need reminders once in awhile of just how powerful our words can be! Thanks to those who teach & remind me when I forget...especially my poor hubby who has to deal with my crazy way more often than most people!

This post brought to you by a womn who loves her man & will never stop looking for ways to make our communication & our lives together happy, fun, & fabulous!

SUPER TRUTH: A “Game-i-fied” Approach To Life Helps Create Merry Monotony

7/17/2017

This is me making work FUN & MEANINGFUL! Hahaha! Isn't there a meme about dressing for the job you want & ending up in your boss's office dressed as a superhero?! Uh-oh...

For many years, when asked about my business plan I have said that since I like simplicity, I kept it to two words...FUN & MEANINGFUL

If it’s not FUN, no one wants to do it. And if it’s not MEANINGFUL...why are we doing it at all?!

I try to apply this philosophy to most things in my life. It challenges me to do things that both matter and are also enjoyable. This usually works really well for me.

Until I have to go grocery shopping.

It’s a task that certainly matters (a girl’s gotta eat)...but I never found it to be enjoyable. In fact, it used to make me dread getting out of bed because I just couldn’t find anything fun about it (unless you count the ice cream aisle...that I can get behind).

But then one day, my genius bestie introduced me to a little app called ibotta. Holy game changer.

This little app offers rebates on just about any item you can imagine. Including things like fresh produce, milk, eggs, & a $.25 rebate on literally “Any Item” by simply submitting the receipt from one of the stores the app partners with. And these aren’t obscure stores you’d never shop in. I’m talking Wal-Mart, Target, Military Commissaries, 7-11...you name it. Even Amazon just got in on the action...so you can shop at home and STILL get money back on your purchases! And for those of you who like to have an adult beverage every now & then, they’ve included about a bazillion rebates at Total Wine & more. You are welcome.

Suddenly, this made going to the grocery store a whole lot more fun. How much could I get back on each trip?! Could I unlock the monthly bonuses for random extra money?! Could I actually start to LIKE grocery shopping?!

Since signing up for the app, I have made $705.21 from 556 rebates + 62 bonuses (which goes right into your PayPal or venmo account or can be redeemed for gift cards to just about anywhere). I think my biggest savings to date in a single trip was something like $32 (this was unusual as I was spending about $200 on items to donate to families who had lost everything in a fire...so I just bought anything they asked for that was on ibotta--pet food, baby supplies, toiletries, etc). A more typical savings is the $11 I saved yesterday on a $59 grocery trip.

But most importantly...I actually LIKE grocery shopping now. It’s become something fun to do because of this little app. I have discovered sections of the grocery store I’d never explored before and have sampled products I might not have otherwise found (although I am not sure my addiction to Halo Top ice cream is a good thing?! Haha!).

We even game-i-fied our wedding! Instead of a guest book, we gathered advice on Jenga Blocks. Why not fill life with fun & games every chance you get?!

On top of all that, when I look at the rankings of people I know, I can see that just 5 of the people I have shared a referral link with have collectively earned over $1,383...and that feels pretty darn good! Heck, my mom & I will even shop together just to find rebates as a bonding experience! How funny is that?!

This app has made me ask myself...where else can I game-i-fy my life?!

I’ve come up with a few ideas to help me do things I would like to do because I know they’re meaningful for me or for my business...but maybe aren’t so much fun.

Things like tracking my water intake with gold stars for glasses consumed (important for all of us...but definitely critical while I am breastfeeding, so HAVE to make it fun so I do it!). I also put my water in those fun Wonder Woman drinking glasses with the straws attached & keep them all around the house to help me drink every last drop of H2O my body needs.

Or creating small rewards for myself when I hit certain biz goals. Like a foot massage at the reflexology place across the street after making x-number of phone calls. I need this one BAD because I am way more of a texter than a talker...but some things are just better in a real conversation.

Sometimes I ask my husband to draw me a trophy when I feel like what I did sucked & I am just glad it’s done! I have a whole gallery of these tiny trophies on yellow sticky notes greeting me on the bathroom mirror every morning, which puts a big smile on my face to start the day!

These things may not make a huge impact...but the small impact they do make keeps me smiling as I tackle the parts of life that are as unavoidable as they are unenjoyable. Who says sugar coating things isn’t a darn fine idea?!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a gold star to give myself for the glass of water I drank while writing this...and maybe a trophy to demand for sitting down to write instead of binge watching iZombie.

NOTE: Click here for a referral link that scores you $10 when you cash in on your first “I wanna make grocery shopping more fun” rebate. Added bonus, when you snag your $10, I get $5 for sharing the ibotta love! Win-win!!

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that it's okay to make life not only meaningful but FUN...PLEASE SHARE!! We all need reminders about not taking lives (or ourselves) too seriously! Thanks to those who teach & remind me when I forget the importance of keeping life as enjoyable as possible (especially the parts that get old fast).

This post brought to you by a 42-year old Wonder Woman fan who thinks playing dress up & making as much of life as possible into a game MIGHT just be the ticket to enlightenment! But even if it's not...I'm keeping the tiara!

SUPER TRUTH: Baby Steps Eventually Add Up To Leaps & Bounds

5/31/2017

I love the OM-mazing benefits of doing a little yoga a day! Also love this pic by the talented Stacie Frazier!

Sometimes my life happens in axioms & inspirational sayings. Or at least those are what run through my head a couple hundred times a day. Lately, the one bouncing around most often is something I heard from a yoga teacher I met on my first ever yoga retreat back in 2001:

“It’s better to do a little bit a lot, than to do a lot a little bit.”

He was encouraging us to make yoga a daily practice. He explained that if we were runners, it would be better to run 2 miles per day than to run a marathon once a month.

At the time I was in the army & did a lot more running than yoga, so this made perfect sense to me. I knew that running 2 miles wasn’t too strenuous, could be done in minutes (about 18 for me at the time, now more like 24...haha!) & didn’t require much recovery time--making it an easy commitment. Running a marathon, on the other hand, was much more difficult, took several hours & involved significant recovery time compared to a quick few miles--making it much easier to blow off because it was a HUGE commitment.

We are more likely to commit to little things we perceive as easy than to big, hairy ones that sound scary or difficult. Not just physically...but in life.

I was reminded of this again just before giving birth when I met up with a couple I know for lunch. They shared that they made a tracking sheet of the things they wanted to ensure they would do every day after their first baby was born. These weren’t earth shattering things or life goals like “write one chapter of my next book each day.” They were more along the lines of “brush my teeth,” “take a shower,” & “have at least one adult conversation that doesn’t revolve around poop.” The kinds of things that can easily fall through the cracks when you are a sleep deprived new parent. Little things...but important things.

This brought to mind a business axiom I had heard (& taught) many times: “what you measure matters.” In other words, what you think is important enough to track, you generally spend your most energy on. I not only believe this to be true in business...but in the rest of life as well.

Over the years, I have put my focus on tracking many things from found money (if you don’t know about my penny project, you are probably new here. Check out the first comment for the website & book that flowed from this 10+ year ongoing process that’s allowed me to collect almost $5,000 for charity + random acts of kindness) to the food I consumed as I was learning about fitness & nutrition while I trained for my first 70.3 Ironman race (I lost 17 pounds in the process).

What did I learn from all this?! That the things I track, put on my calendar, or set reminders for are the things that get done. Everything else is a maybe at best. Not to mention, these little things I focus on really start to add up over time!

My talented hubby & his soul feeding art! Click this picture to visit his Patreon site where you can see what he's been creating!

Before giving birth, my hubby & I sat down to discuss what was important to us during the early weeks of parenting our newborn. What little things did we want to make sure did NOT slip through the cracks. Much of it was the same as our friends had suggested (showers, teeth brushing, & one non-poop related conversation per day). But each of us also had one item that reflected who we are as individuals. For me it was time to exercise (movement not only makes for a healthy body, but feeds my soul as well...not to mention it was “doctor’s orders” to walk 30 minutes a day as part of my c-section recovery). For my husband it was time to paint (creativity is what feeds his soul).

Tonight as I rounded the corner of my last 30-minute walk before seeing the doctor tomorrow to get cleared for a return to normal workouts, I wondered just how far I had gone. Hard to tell when you are walking the same 0.3-mile loop around your condo complex over & over again. This was so I could be nearby if hubby texted in a panic that the kid needed a boob to feed on STAT...which only happened once, but was enough to scare a new mama into staying close. Better to walk 30 minutes in 10-minute increments with feedings in between than not to walk at all.

Thankfully, I had tracked each of my nightly walks on the MapMyFitness app, so I could find out EXACTLY how far Ihad walked! To my delight, in the 6 weeks & 1 day since Lena was born, I have walked 72.3 miles. That’s 241 times around the complex. Not bad, eh?!

I’m also happy to report a few other things:

(1) Although there were nights I did NOT want to get off the couch (partly because I prefer daytime workouts...but baby disagreed with this schedule), I only skipped 5 days of walking. It’s important to note, I ALWAYS felt better at the end of those tough nightly walks than I did at the beginning.
(2) I never got bored in those 241 loops around the same tiny (and arguably boring) piece of real estate, which could have easily happened. Instead, I took each lap as an opportunity to grow my mind. I used a combo of upbeat music, the Deepak Chopra/Oprah 21-day meditation series, and inspirational podcasts (Chris Harder’s “For the Love of Money” about business & Lori Harder’s “Earn Your Happy” about living your happiest life--both very much worth checking out if you are into podcasts) to make each loop a new adventure & an avalanche of inspiring ideas.
(3) I wasn’t the only one who kept her commitment to do what feeds her soul. My husband created 39 art pieces (a mix of paintings & drawings) in those 6 weeks. No small feat since he did that all while being on the night shift with a hungry + gassy newborn.

It’s amazing what two people can accomplish, even during the most stressful of times, when they commit to supporting each other in taking time to do what feeds their souls. As much as I love my new baby, I love my husband even more for supporting me to take great care of her AND to keep taking great care of me too (the man did ALL the grocery shopping over the last 6 weeks, most of the laundry, and the lion’s share of diaper changes + baby burping so I could stay rested for late night feedings).

Looking back I can see that each 30-minute walk I committed to became part of an overall distance I couldn’t have imagined traveling over the last six weeks. Not just the distance I covered with my feet, but also the leaps & bounds my soul took by staying committed to my own self care during a crazy time, the even greater depth of love I found for my husband for staying committed to his creative soul work, and the increased strength of our relationship discovered by supporting each other in what we need most.

Baby steps can seem insignificant when we are taking them. But when we turn back around to see the ground we’ve covered, we see that they weren’t insignificant at all. They were massive, meaningful, & perhaps the best parts of who we have become.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a baby-sized bite of ice cream with my name on it. If I’m lucky, those bites will add up to polished off pint in no time! ;-)

***AUTHOR’S NOTE: Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors...this piece (along with everything else I’ve shared lately) was written in 5-10 minute chunks between feedings & diaper changes. Gotta love those baby steps!***

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that baby steps add up...PLEASE SHARE!! We all need reminders about that the little things we do matter AND...they add up! Thanks to those who teach & remind me when I forget the importance of the little things.

This post brought to you by a 42-year old first time mom who's (mostly) loving the journey. Although I am not "officially" back to work until the fall, I do have a few coaching spots open if you could use a dose of this outlook in your life. Nothing makes me happier than helping people find the baby steps they can take to get them closer to their dream lives!!

SUPER TRUTH: You Can Have a Good Day or a Good Story

5/27/2017

Daddy does his best to get baby to sleep...sometimes it even works!

Earlier this week, my sweet husband wandered into our bedroom around 7am looking like a distraught zombie. Behind him rolled the bassinet containing our 5 week old daughter.

“I can’t take any more. She hasn’t slept for more than 10 or 15 minutes all night long. I. Need. Sleep.”

Or at least that’s what I think he said. His words were not all that intelligible in the wee hours of morning as the sun began to peek through our blinds.

He happens to be on the baby night shift, something I am more than a little grateful for since it allows me to get actual sleep between feedings, while he handles diaper changes, burping, & rocking the baby back to sleep. Although that night, she didn’t seem to be interested in the going back to sleep part.

Given all the times I’d been able to stay in bed until 9am, I quite happily started my shift early that day so my weary partner could get a little shut eye.

Later that night as I took my 30-minute walk, some daily “me time” to clear my head & help heal my body from the c-section I ended up having, I was listening to a podcast called “Earn Your Happy” with Lori Harder that had me thinking about my own happiness, both in my pre-baby career as a facilitator & in my new role as a mother.

**Sidenote: If you’re into positivity, podcasts, growth, or being generally awesome...you should definitely check it out on iTunes or at www.loriharder.com.**

The best way to get good at something is to jump in and DO IT!

When I was teaching, I often used to tell my facilitation students that no matter how many tools, tips, & techniques I shared with them, the best teacher was experience. The only way to become a really good facilitator (or a really good anything for that matter) was to get out there and DO IT!

The thing about putting yourself out there & doing whatever it is you’re trying to master is that when you start out, you might do it in a not so masterful way. There’s any number of reasons something may not go well...but mostly it’s just the law of averages. No one gets it right 100% of the time, especially not right out of the gate.

As a facilitator, I have gotten it wrong plenty of times. Occasionally getting it wrong meant we didn’t accomplish what we set out to do. But mostly it just meant the ride was a little bumpier than planned.

Like the time the printed materials never made it to the client site & we had to improvise for the first day while FedEx printed up new (very expensive) replacement materials.

Or the time the room we got was a computer lab instead of a classroom & participants had to crane their necks up, over, & around ginormous computer screens to see the flip charts & talk to their groupmates for exercises.

Or the time I put the event in my calendar on the wrong date & had to pay out of pocket for a very expensive last minute airfare change.

Or the time the client asked for a partial refund because they weren’t happy that I didn’t use every single printed material that my sales rep had shipped (despite participants being wildly happy during the event).
Or the time the class was promised & sold at 50% over capacity in a classroom that was WAY too small and I literally had to give up bathroom breaks + lunch to complete all the video recorded final facilitation exercises on the last day (my pee-pee dance moves were strong that day!).

Or the time I accidentally forgot to give one student a card with his “your dysfunctional meeting behavior to act out during the final session is…” assignment. He believed I’d done it intentionally because I thought that his being gay was dysfunctional enough. Not coincidentally, this was also the day I broke down in tears in front of a class full students when he said that outloud during our closing circle. At least I got to tell him what really happened--I had simply not seen his name on the sign up sheet because it was blocked from view in the place where I sat to write out the assignments.

Or the time a man walked up to me on a break during a public offering of my facilitation course as I was preparing flip charts for the next exercise & said, “I need to get my shit together.”
Me (assuming he was being a little hard on himself): “Okay, how can I help you?”
“I just found out my son died,” he replied.
Suddenly the flipcharts (and the entire class) became a MUCH lower priority.

Success feels so good!! But don't forget it's the learning from the failures that gets you there!

Reading this list of events you might think, “Wow...she must be a disaster as a facilitator...espcially if all these things happened to her. Better look elsewhere for my facilitation needs!”

I can see how you might come to that conclusion! But the truth is, this list only tells part of the story. It doesn’t include the hundreds of successful sessions I’ve lead. Also, none of these things happened TO me. They happened FOR me. It is through these events that I learned how to deal with people in a much deeper capacity than course materials or a meeting agenda could have lead to.

What I learned along the way is that as a facilitator I either had a “good day” (i.e. the session was a home run) OR I had a “good story” (which meant the session may have been a little bumpy...but damn was that a juicy experience I could draw from to teach future classes).

In the beginning of any endeavor where we hope to master a new skill, we usually have more “good stories” (or hellish nightmares as they sometimes feel like) than we’d probably like. But as we learn, grow, & master the skills needed to succeed, we find ourselves having more “good days.”

But I think there’s an even better phase beyond that.

When I really hit my stride as a facilitator, I found that even during events that gave me some of those “good stories” I knew I’d be sharing with future classes, I was able to experience those moments as “good days” too. It’s like the line between what made a good & bad experience had been erased and all that was left was living whatever experience was in front of me. In fact, I came to see the crazy moments that had previously been unwanted (and quite honestly, avoided at all costs) as some of my most treasured memories. Were they easy to navigate? No. But what valuable things in life really are?

Messy hair don't care! I was a mess after 31 hours of labor & a c-section...but I'd never been happier. It was a good story AND a good day!

Back to my poor, sleep deprived husband & his night of sleep in 10-minute increments. Not what I’d call the makings of a “good day” in the land of parenting. But I will never forget his face as he tried to cobble together words to form a sentence that properly conveyed the hellish nature of his night shift with a baby who would much rather party into the wee hours than sleep. A good story for sure.

It’s easy for me to see a good story when I am outside of it. Now the trick is learning how to see them when they are happening to me as a mom, just like I did when I was a facilitator.

Like when I was fresh out of the hospital & had to tuck into the fetal position to sneeze so I wouldn’t bust open my c-section scar.

Or the first time I used the carseat/stroller combo on my own & had to ask a stranger to help me figure out how to get the carseat out of the stroller...and then couldn’t fold the stroller up, so threw it in my car as is just to get my poor baby out of the hot sun.

Or the several times in just 5 weeks that I can’t remember the last time I showered. Had it been days? Weeks?

Or when the baby poops all over the changing table before I can swap out diapers.

Not my best days...but perhaps my best stories someday.

I don’t want to be in such a rush to win a “mom of the year” award that I hurry through the “good story” moments like I did at the beginning of my facilitation career. This time I don’t have anything to prove to anyone (truth be told, I didn’t really then either...I just thought I did). All I need to do is enjoy the ride. Bumps and all.

Now if you’ll excuse me...my nose is telling me I probably didn’t shower yesterday. Or the day before. Don’t judge! I’m making a "good story!" ;-)

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear they can turn a BAD day into a GOOD story...PLEASE SHARE!! We all need reminders about the fact we're each humans doing the best we can. Thanks to those who teach & remind me when I get cranky & forget to practice what I write!

This post brought to you by a 42-year old first time mom who's loving the journey. Although I am not "officially" back to work until the fall, I do have a few coaching spots open if you could use a dose of this outlook in your life. Nothing makes me happier than helping people find & write their best stories!

SUPER TRUTH: Kindness is a muscle

2/24/2017

My sister, the baby shower whisperer.

Earlier this week I had a thought. It would take me literally a hundred lifetimes to repay all the kindnesses people have shown me over the years. But I find this particularly true in my current season (pregnancy).

It is incredible to me how much generosity and love really do exist in the world, often for perfect strangers, many times for the people we love, and if we are lucky...for ourselves.

This thought was sparked by a blanket my sister gave me at the awesome-beyond-words baby shower she threw for me this weekend. She had worked on all the details of this celebration from thousands of miles away with my mom & a dear friend here on the ground that I linked her up with. They had not met before my short email introduction, so a friend to me, but a stranger to my sister. Yet by the end of it, my sister was blown away with how many brilliant ideas my friend gave her & the level of support she provided when my sister wanted to bounce crazy ideas around. All the while, I lifted not one finger in the preparation for this gathering. In fact, someone asked me what time it started & I actually didn’t know. Not because of pregnancy brain...but because every detail was THAT handled by these 3 amazing women. Literally all I had to do was show up (once I figured out what time it started).

And speaking of showing up, I was beyond delighted that 6 very special out of town guests made the effort to be at my shower in person. My hometown bestie since forever, along with her mom & sister (aka-my 2nd family, whom I love as much as my own) and 3 of my military girlfriends (affectionately known as the “Helo Hotties” since we all flew helicopters together in the army) who have always had my back, particularly in some of my toughest times.

And then there were all the local friends who came to wish me & the baby well, each bearing amazing gifts & beautiful, supportive words for me as I plunge into this whole motherhood thing for the first time. I know about these supportive words because I alternately boo-hoo sobbed & belly laughed my way through them during a gorgeous Navajo rite-of-passage ceremony my sister led us through that resulted in a bracelet imbued with the love, support, advice, & kind words each woman offered as she picked a bead for this special keepsake.

Let’s not forget those who couldn’t come, whether due to schedule conflicts or last minute viruses they were NOT passing on to a pregnant mama. Many of these women also sent well wishes, gifts delivered by mail, & even one “doorbell ditch drop off” that made me smile from ear to ear (and still ensured I stay safe safely away from germs!).

My bestie next to the Oz-themed height chart she, her sister, & mom made for Baby Riley!

The day was full of emotion & appreciation for me. It was simultaneously the easiest thing in the world to accept & let in this huge gesture of love, and the hardest thing imaginable to let all these people I adore make such a huge fuss for something that millions of women do every day. It never fails to blow me away how each person, each moment is both insanely unique and also just like all the other ones. Here I was in a room full of moms (and a few dads) being treated like a queen (or at least a “good witch” since the theme of the party was “Wizard of Oz” to match baby’s nursery!), even though I have not yet done the hard thing they have all been doing so beautifully for anywhere from a few months to a few decades.

One of the benefits to being a late bloomer, I suppose. If it takes a village, I sure to have a good one!

Any how...back to the blanket.

As if the shower itself & flying all the way across country to throw it wasn’t enough, my sister also got me an insanely thoughtful gift. Not one, but TWO handmade blankets modeled after my own childhood blanket (lovingly referred to as “Sattie-poo” because of his soft satin edges). Why two? One for the baby...and one for ME!!!

I am not embarrassed to admit I went to bed snuggling my new blanket that night, gently running its soft satin edges through my fingers (the quality of the satin edge far surpassed the so-so satin on the current blanket we have on our bed...she really nailed it with this gift).

As I laid there enjoying this little square of satin-edged fuzz, it occurred to me that my sister’s neighbor who made these blankets had never met me. I don’t even think she charged my sister to make these two precious little mementos. She had the sewing skill, my sister had a need, it was for a baby (well two, really...one yet to be born & one that’s 42 years old)...and so she just did it.

Perhaps the joy we get for doing kind things is reward enough sometimes. Maybe in the sharing of ourselves, our time, & our talents, we actually receive more than we give away. Or maybe everyone who wants to give or do something kind has at one time felt like I do today. So full with gratitude and wonder for the ridiculously amazing blessing that is life, that NOT being kind is no longer an option.

Even (or perhaps especially) on our worst days, we all benefit from kindness. It’s a salve for what ails us, a balm for our weary souls.

Now...if we can just remember that on our good days, perhaps WE can be to others what my sister’s blanket-making-neighbor has been to me.

So today I challenge you to take a few extra minutes or to extend some much needed grace to the cranky store clerk, who perhaps has a dying mother but can’t skip work if she wants to keep ends meeting.

Or the angry guy in traffic who cuts you off...because he’s racing home to his family before he completely loses it after being unexpectedly laid off.

Snuggling my new Sattie-poo!!

Or the pushy person in line ahead of you, or the rude waiter, or the annoying taxi driver, or (yes, I’m gonna say it) that person who supported the presidential candidate you just could not stomach...none of whom have ever experienced the kind of grace & kindness you have been lucky enough to experience in your lifetime.

What if...just WHAT IF...this moment is the chance for that person to experience a small dose of that amazing feeling by how you treat them RIGHT NOW?

Will it be easy? Perhaps not. But neither are the workouts my trainer has been putting me through lately with 33-weeks of baby jutting out in front of me. Yet I still do them. Why? Because I always feel better after I do. And each time I complete a workout...I feel a little stronger & more confident about the next one.

Being kind to those who need it most (including yourself, by the way...often the person last on your list of who to be kind to), without judging whether they/we “should” need it or not, is just another muscle.

You can build your kindness muscle big & strong...or simply let it atrophy.

I for one choose strength. Even if I never become a kindness power lifter (think Mother Teresa or Ghandi), I...and the world...become better with each repetition.

And what greater kindness can I show myself than to be a little bit better today than I was yesterday?!

Now if you’ll excuse me, there is a modern day Sattie-poo calling my name for a nap & a good snuggle.

Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to think of kindness as a muscle we can all build...PLEASE SHARE!! We all need reminders now & then about the fact we're all humans doing the best we can. Thanks to those who remind me when I get cranky & forget to practice what I write!

This post brought to you by the Leslie Riley (formerly known as Leslie Stein) & the "Helo Hotties." Nothing beats a village full of badass women!

SUPER TRUTH: Late Bloomers Aren’t Late At All

2/17/2017

Maternity pics by Buzz Covington Photography

I woke up this morning earlier than usual. I always try to lie in bed when this happens...sleep mask still firmly in place blocking out the first rays of morning light; ear plugs firmly planted to eliminate any noises that might disrupt my slumber...just praying I can will myself back to sleep before my brain notices I’m up & starts thinking. It seldom works...but a girl can dream, right? Especially when her alarm clock isn’t going off for another TWO HOURS.

But no...today was a thinking day & my brain got to grinding about stuff as soon as it noticed I was up. So much to think about!

Last night, Logan & I went to our first of two childbirth classes. Up until that point, the extent of my research on childbirth was using an app called “The Bump” recommended by a friend of mine who is also pregnant.

Weekly, I am delighted by the little factoids it shares. For instance, did you know that around 32 weeks a woman’s nipples get darker?! Why, you might wonder (I never did...but was amazed there is actually a reason)?! Well, it turns out that around 32 weeks, although premature, a baby has a strong chance of survival. Some senses will not be fully developed (such as eyesight), so the nipples get darker to make them easier for babies to see, if they do indeed arrive early.

WOW.

Our bodies truly are amazing, intelligent, spectacular vessels we get to drive around this planet. When I learn stuff like this I always have to take a moment to pause. It’s really hard for me not to believe in some kind of higher power or Universal force when I ponder things like the design of the human body. Who planned that?!

But I digress. Back to childbirth class (don’t worry, I won’t bore you with all the gory details of labor...haha!).

What stood out to me from last night’s class was a conversation about the impact of interventions BEFORE pregnancy that could lead to the possibility of surgical birth (c-section). In a broad sense, there are several very “normal”-sounding things that seem to be standard medical practice which actually run the risk of introducing infections &/or speeding up the process of starting labor. And once that process is sped up, more very “normal”-sounding clocks are placed on mama if she hasn’t progressed a certain amount by a certain time.

Married at a castle in Ireland with our closest friends & family. #dreamlife #gladIwaited

One example was the water breaking before labor starts. Typically there is a 16 hour clock before the doctor wants to intervene if labor hasn’t started due to potential risks to the baby. Seems reasonable, right?

What I learned last night was that 90% of women will start labor within 24 hours after the water breaks. And one of the midwives there to answer questions said she had delivered a healthy baby 4 DAYS after the water broke.

This was fascinating to me! Why the 16-hour clock if nature generally takes its course in 24 hours (or more for some women)? Safety? Perhaps. But it is also easier to maintain one standard, PLUS it involves less liability for the hospital if they take a very conservative approach that will ensure healthy babies, even if that means c-sections that might have been avoided.

Another interesting topic was carrying past the due date...something my doctor told me he would only allow for one week. Seems reasonable since I am a high risk pregnancy due to my age (I’m considered an “antique mom” at 42). But is it reasonable? The “normal” gestation for a baby is 40 weeks (at least that’s the common number you find in all the cute books, apps & websites). In reality, there is a range considered healthy: 37-42 weeks.

And what about the fact I myself was born 3 weeks past my due date (apparently, I’ve been a late bloomer from the get-go)? Or that I know EXACTLY the date of conception (because I am a freak & can actually FEEL the exact moment when I ovulate...the weird but true side effect of being really focused on health & tuning into my body over the last few years), which by the way shows that I am actually 2 weeks behind where all the fancy apps & estimated due date calculators (based on date of last menstrual cycle) put me. So “one week late” might actually be a week early if we use 40 weeks as our guideline.

No wonder my brain wouldn’t let me go back to sleep this morning. I’ve got some stuff to figure out...and FAST (or at least FAST-ish...depending on when Baby Riley decides to make its debut).

At the end of the day, here is what I am left with...what’s so wrong with being a late bloomer? Why can’t I let my baby stay inside until it’s ready to come out naturally on its own (as long as it’s safe in there...which thanks to modern medicine, we can most definitely monitor)?

I waited 40 years to meet the man of my dreams. 41 years to marry him. And 42 years to have my first baby. Certainly there’s no harm in letting that baby wait until he/she is actually READY to come out. My mom let me wait...and I think I turned out pretty good (watch your comments here, peanut gallery...that means you, DAD!).

Our favorite pic from wedding day, affectionately known as the "Scooby Doo shot." So us!!

Why ruin what could be an amazing, unique, individual entrance just to do it like it “should” be done. To ensure everything is “safe” (i.e. liability free). To meet the “standard” (which is simply an average of the beautiful, unique arrivals into this world...and who wants to be average?!).

I for one would rather be amazed & even a little inconvenienced to let myself experience my baby’s personality right from the start.

Early arriver with short labor...great, I love easy!
Late comer with an epic labor that’s a tale for the ages...sweet, I love a good story.
A few false starts before REAL labor begins...ha-ha smarty pants, I DO love a prankster.
Some kind of arrival I haven’t even thought of yet...SCORE, you’re a true original.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder why we even call people late bloomers at all. I only ever think of myself that way is when I compare myself to others (a practice that gets me absolutely nowhere).

In fact, the place I have been the “late-bloomery-est” has been in my personal life (as mentioned above with my first marriage & baby happening after 40)...which is also the place I feel the happiest. And ironically, the most envied. Our love story belongs in a movie & this baby happened on our first try...can’t beat that with a stick. Maybe that extra time I was taking was to ensure the bloom would be spectacular when it did happen. And frankly, I wouldn’t bloom any earlier than I did if I had to change one detail of my life. It’s the perfect life for me.

And if I’m really lucky, it will inspire at least one other person out there to embrace their “not-like-everyone-else” life + timeline and love it a little bit extra today.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta get to spin class. Late bloomers there miss the warm up & that is one kind of late blooming I just can’t deal with today!

SUPER TRUTH: Enough is Enough...And It’s Totally Your Call

2/14/2017

Cats...the OPPOSITE of a good alarm clock. But perfect if you need to slow down to a snail's pace.

Yesterday did not go as planned. Mostly because the night before it didn’t go as planned. I’m finding that a lot where pregnancy & sleep are concerned.

Not falling asleep easily (or at all) make getting up so very much harder.

And in a game of fortunately/unfortunately, I had cleverly scheduled a very early call for myself to make SURE I was up and ready for spin class (it’s own version of hilarity as I begin to bear a striking resemblance to Ms. Gulch from the Wizard of Oz the moment I climb on my bike).

I slid into the call still chomping away at my cereal (the only thing my stomach will actually tolerate in the morning)...and it all went downhill from there.

The call was actually fantastic. I, on the other hand, was feeling more & more nauseous as it progressed, mostly owing to the lack of sleep. By the call’s end I was in one of those not-so-delightful dilemmas. Do I push myself through the not feeling good to do the spin class (and probably feel better by the end of it) or do I honor my body, it’s lack of sleep, & the tiny human growing inside and spend that 90 minutes going back to sleep instead (hopefully without my inner voices mocking me too much for ditching my workout).

I opted for the later. Especially since the person I was supposed to have a call with after my spin class sent an email pleading for a reschedule due to a weekend long migraine that had left her behind on a project she desperately needed to finish.

It was starting to feel like maybe the Universe hit a big old snooze button on my day.

So I got back in bed with my slumbering husband & cat to see if I could quell the nausea with a few more hours of sleep.

It worked for a short while. And then came the crackling noise.

My husband jumped out of bed screaming, “THE LIGHT! THE LIGHT!” as he frantically searched for pants before darting out to see if this was the day the kitchen light fixture was to give out & come crashing down to the ground.

In that moment I remembered that right before going back to bed, I had texted my mom (aka my landlord) about the light’s impending fall to earth. I grabbed my phone to see a text message about my dad being on his way to check it out...thankfully before my pantsless husband dashed out of the bedroom.

The "SOS" picture I texted my mom, which brought Dad & his ladder our way.

We learned the light wasn’t crashing down at all. My dad was just opening a creaky ladder so he could climb up to take a look at it.

Turns out the ugly, outdated light cover for the hideous fluorescent lights could not be repaired. Or replaced. So he took the cracked, ugly cover to contemplate his next move & left the naked bulbs just hanging out in the kitchen. And the ladder in my living room...in case he got inspired to come back & fix it in the next few days. (Hint: that’s probably not happening. Besides, he’s 70 & I’m pregnant...so who has time to argue about ugly lights & a ladder in the living room. At least the thing folds up small-ish).

Awake & even more nauseous than before, I thought maybe yet another return to bed was in order as my husband left to run errands. But something in me wasn’t ready to just give up the idea I could accomplish SOMETHING. Even in my nauseous state.

I stared at the laundry drying rack & knew I could manage to at least fold up the small number of clothes hanging there...especially since my husband had surprised me the night before by getting all the laundry done.

So I did that.

Proud of my accomplishment (even if it wasn’t going to bring about world peace or cure cancer), I decided I could press on. Next, I’d move a few things off the desk I am trying to empty so I can take pictures & put it on Craigslist. Even a few things moved would feel like progress (on a task that has been lingering for weeks).

I moved a few things. And then a few more. And even a few more after that...including a huge tub of stuff from it’s temporary place to a semi-permanent place while we do a little redesign of the desk area. And then...I was done.

Somewhere inside I felt a magical little voice barely whisper, “That’s enough.”

Really? Could that actually be true? Could these two small bursts of effort be ENOUGH?!

Enough. It’s a funny concept.

When I looked it up on Google, I found that as a pronoun it means “as much or as many as required.” As an adverb the definition is “to a moderate degree; fairly.”

Somehow this little voice knew that. Which is funny...because on any other day my definition of enough seems to be more elusive. Something along the lines of “one or a bunch more than I actually completed.”

Talk about setting myself up for failure. Geeze.

I thought back to a conversation with my mom about the time she & my dad were trying to decide if he should take early retirement from his government job so he could pursue his dream of finishing law school & taking the bar exam. She said that for quite some time they’d been saying they weren’t sure they had enough money saved to make that work.

Until one day one of them asked themselves the question,

“How much is enough?”

Mom advice is the best. Mine in particular is one of the greats...Mt. Rushmore-worthy!

They stared at each other blankly because neither of them actually knew. They’d never ACTUALLY bothered to define or calculate what enough meant in this case.

Flash back to me in my living room...looking longingly at my cozy maternity pillow through the bedroom door. Could the little voice I heard be right? Had I done enough for the moment?

I decided that in addition to one stellar early morning phonecall, dealing with the great light debacle of 2017, folding laundry, AND making progress on clearing my desk...I had also been simultaneously growing a human. All while nauseous. So yes, I had indeed done enough for now.

Turns out acknowledging or defining “enough” in that moment led to more than enough later on...AFTER a nap. I squeezed in a 2-mile afternoon walk, learned a bunch of useful stuff to help my hubby rework his resume for a new job opportunity, and turned my 3x a week 15-minute commitment to sit down & write into 45+ minutes of creative time.

Maybe the secret to feeling like enough lies in knowing when we’ve DONE enough. Some days that is a mile long list. But most days it might just be a few key things.

What it most definitely is NOT is something someone else can or should decide for you. Only you know your “enough” in a given day or in relation to a specific goal. Not your parents. Not your partner. Not your kids. Not your friends. And most assuredly not “society” (most of whom have never met you...so really, “they” can bugger off).

Not sure why it took me so long to figure this out. Perhaps I just never had a quiet enough day to actually hear that tiny voice inside. And maybe I owe this nausea (that slowed me down in such an annoying way) a heartfelt thank you. Because suddenly my third trimester pregnancy slowness doesn’t seem like such a problem. In fact, it may just be the greatest gift I could have ever received (minus the heartburn...I still refuse to believe there is any use to that nonsense).

Now if you’ll excuse me...I have a whole lot of NOTHING to do for a little while...and I’m pretty darn excited about it!

Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that it's okay to just BE today, while DOING absolutely nothing ...PLEASE SHARE!! It's entirely too easy to get caught up in the madness of do-do-do (and what kind of doo-doo is that?!). We all need each other to keep ourselves grounded in the fact that our friends & family don't love us for what we do...they love us for who we ARE!! Thanks to those who remind me when I get on a spree of task-checking madness!

This post brought to you by the many messy & decidedly NOT put together faces of Leslie Riley (formerly known as Leslie Stein) who is spending the rest of today doing pretty much nothing.

SUPER TRUTH: It’s Okay To Be “THAT Person”

2/10/2017

I took the leap!!!

I started something this week that I have been talking about doing for, oh...maybe like 7 years now. I’ve talked about it so much that I’ve seen many of my friends do it successfully & really enjoy it...yet I still never made time (or overcame my fears, I suppose) to do it myself. Which is kind of embarrassing. I can fly helicopters & jump out of planes...but sometimes get terrified of such random things. It’s bonkers to me!

So what did I start?! What’s been on my mind for the better part of a decade that I have yet to act upon?!

Sending a weekly email message. GASP!

Why is this so terrifying?! Well, I guess because nowadays it feels like so many people send so many emails that I worried I’d just be creating more noise. That I’d end up spamming people I really like. Slowing down my already busy friends, family, clients, & souls I’ve never even met in person yet. And who wants to be “THAT person?!”

But here’s the thing. Every time I worry about being seen by someone else as “THAT person” (whatever their version of “THAT person” means), I reinforce my own fears. Which then cause me to edit myself, hold myself back, tamp myself down, hide myself, play small, and all the other things I have spent many years and many dollars learning not to do. And for what. To POSSIBLY avoid some criticism?!

HA!

Guess who’s been criticizing my every move all along?! Keeping me from sharing 7 years worth of happy thoughts, inspiring messages, bold ideas, fresh perspectives, delicious recipes that kept me eating healthy, & motivational videos that got my tired butt to the gym?

ME! I’m the wet blanket, the party pooper, & the mean girl I’ve been afraid of. What in the literal hell?!

I would never discourage anyone else from speaking up & sharing their uniquely beautiful perspectives on this crazy-amazing journey called life. So again...why have I waited 7 years to do this? Because I’m afraid someone won’t like me if they think one of my messages was somehow too much for their inboxes to handle that day?! For goodness sake...they have the same beautiful tools I use when my inbox feels overloaded by well meaning good-idea-sharers...the gloriously effective DELETE & UNSUBSCRIBE buttons!

And so I have decided not to let my inner critic (& her trusty side-kick my inner scaredy-cat) hold me back any longer. I am spreading my wings (just kidding...ya’ll know I have a cape, not wings) and taking the leap.

In fact, I already lept. The first ever weekly wrap up is written & scheduled to go out at 7am PST from a MailChimp account I’ve had for 6+ years but never used...and I am not exactly sure to undo the sending of that scheduled message (probably a good thing lest my inner critic change her mind about piping down for a second). And ya know what...I feel pretty damn great about it!

No more hiding my desire to spread a little joy!

Is it perfect? Not by a long shot. Are there some likely typos or mistakes I’ll cringe at later when someone points them out? Sure. Can it be improved upon? OF COURSE...but that’s what weeks 2-?? are for, right?!

But you know what the Week 1 Wrap-up isn’t? It is no longer a secret dream I’ve had for 7 years DYING to be set free. And that feels so good I am actually crying as I type this.

For me, intention is everything. And even though people can misread, misunderstand, or downright ignore your intentions all together...if YOU know what they are, the criticisms that may come your way are a lot easier to face.

IF criticisms come your way at all. Maybe we are trying to avoid something that will never actually happen?! Definitely wouldn’t be the first time I did that!

Since my intention with this weekly wrap-up is to share the joy I have for things I discover during the course of my week that make me giddy or improve my life in some way, from inspiring quotes, videos, & ideas to products, books & services I cannot live without, I feel pretty good about placing it ever so kindly in people’s inboxes once a week (especially since sharing via social media with it’s crazy algorithms may be keeping people from seeing said joyful tidbits that actually want to) . Even if not every person who receives my emails loves them as much as I do, I am okay with that.

Maybe this is my preparation for being a parent?! Because I hear not every person in the world will care about Baby Riley’s every move as much as I will?! Inconceivable!

So as of today, I am fully accepting the role of “THAT person.”

Who knows, maybe “THAT person” shares things that change people’s lives...or at the very least make their Friday mornings a little better! Maybe “THAT person” gets back inspiring messages in return with even MORE stuff to make her giddy. And maybe “THAT person” frees up a whole bunch of energy no longer worrying about being “THAT person.”

Guess I’m about to find out.

If you’re ready to explore the idea of letting yourself be “THAT person” (or at the very least want to see what kind of things inspired me this week), I’ve created a hidden page on my website where you can check out the weekly wrap-up email without even having to sign up to receive any emails. BOOM! Link will be in the first comment. If you like what you see & are willing to receive the emails for a little while to watch how they evolve, just jump over to the homepage & sign-up for the mailing list. Your delete & unsubscribe buttons have your back if you should ever change your mind & need to make an escape! And I promise, we can still be friends!!

But who knows...you may actually find something useful (or at least a little fun!) that keeps you excited about hearing from me on Friday mornings.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go obsessively refresh pages that indicate how many people are clicking links & opening emails. WHAT?! It’s a thing when you launch a new online thing-a-magig. I’ll chill out before next week...a little.

Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that it's okay to be "THAT person"...PLEASE SHARE!! We all have our fears. Sometimes we need reminders from friends that believe in us to help us remember that we can indeed sing out & be heard...and in fact need to if we want to find the people the in the world who want to hear our song.

This post brought to you by Leslie Riley (formerly known as Leslie Stein) who is singing out today even though her voice isn't as good as she'd like it to be...but she knows it will get better with practice!!

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Leslie Riley
AKA SUPERSOL

Meet Leslie. Some call her by her name. Others call her Wonder Woman. Everyone calls her an inspiration! Lover of all things Wonder Woman...including a pair of adult underoos she wore during her first Ironman 70.3 triathlon. Mostly because committing to her own health moved her from one end of the health scale to the other. When she started training in July 2012, she couldn't do a sit up or run a single mile. She also thought green smoothies & protein bars were a waste of calories. What a difference 9 months makes...

In May 2013 Leslie completed her first Ironman 70.3 event. In December 2013 she run a 50K trail race. AND...she now thinks green smoothies & protein bars are delicious. Proof that anything is possible when you have the right attitude & are ready to believe in yourself.

MH
AKA MAMMARAZZI

Meet MH, marketing and sales guru moving the mountains and delivering the happiness while donning her SUPER MOMMA cape! She is a beautiful and bold Southern Belle from the state of Texas! Currently living in the cold tundra of Michigan with her husband of 13 years and her 3 daughters that keep her days full of surprise and adventure! MH is currently training for her first half marathon which includes daily training of running after her 3 year old toddler and finding other creative ways to build smiles into all those miles. MH Rocks and is going to bring the Mammarazzi to her blogs!

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