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SUPER TRUTH: Sometimes Things ARE Different This Time

1/27/2017

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Do you ever feel like an old version of yourself has a message for today's struggling You?  Like maybe you knew some pretty great things & then forgot them?  

As I sat here pondering whether to write a blog post today (as I move towards reprising the Lead Like A Girl brand yet again...wondering if this time will be different), I found an blog post of mine.


Although today's dilemma has nothing to do with fitness (I did a kick ass spin class yesterday (at 29 weeks pregnant) & started today with a healthy breakfast...soon to be followed by healthy lunch.  Nice to see some changes I've made have stuck), I am experiencing a dilemma nonetheless...and it has similar undertones to the one in this post: 
Will this time be any different?!
The funny thing is that deep down, I know it will be.  

For one,  I'm not starting off at this new adventure at a breakneck pace worried that if I don't get started I'll lose my momentum.  I have learned from many failed attempts that started out like that.  

And for another, I'm doing it for me this time...not to please anyone else.  Every other attempt to build this brand has been with a partner.  I've tried to make it work in 3 different configurations with 5 different people, all of which either fell flat or just plain didn't work.

But now...NOW I know what I really want to do with it.  What it really means to me.  And so, it is time to get a move on (or as much of a move on as my pregnant waddle will allow).  

Watch this space for more sharing, more laughing, more silly inspiration about what it means to Lead Like A Girl.  
  • To tap into that place inside of us where joy meets focus.  
  • To know that as women, we lead in a lot of different ways & a lot of different places--at work, in our communities, & definitely at home.
  • To remember what we forgot (that our inner 7-year old is happy to re-share with us...preferably in a tiara at a fancy tea-party)
  • To honor exactly the phase of leadership we are in now (for me, that means pregnancy & mommy-dom for the near future)

Ok...that's enough about what's coming for now.  SO...without further ado, here is some inspiration from my old self to my new self.  And best of all,  to YOU!  



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Originally posted as "Friday Fun: Up Until Now..." on June 27, 2014
​


​I feel like the theme of last week should be "Lost: Motivation & Good Habits.  If found, please return to owner."

Anyone out there with me?

It felt like I was kiboshed at every turn.  And where did all this catering, cookies, & birthday cake come from?  I've had temptations waved in my face more times than any mere mortal can turn down. And so I caved.  A lot.  You'll notice I'm only showing you the "before pictures" of these cookie jars & not the "after" in which they are down by half.  

In my defense, I DID ride 60 miles on my bike that day!  NOT in my defense, I used that excuse all week.  And into today when I had a huge-ass waffle for breakfast.  I'm pretty sure I've eaten back the calories I expended on that ride and then some (and then some more).  Just sayin'.  I can now safely return to my normally scheduled eating program.

This seems to be the point in my journey where I throw in the towel.  Where I let my current circumstances dictate my future.  Where I let one bad day turn into two. Then three. Then a week.  Then two weeks.  And after two weeks, well...that's practically an eternity...and I'm right back where I started.

Well...at least that's how I handled weeks like this UP UNTIL NOW.

It's amazing how powerful a little shift in language can be.  Rather than writing my story with an opening line of "Yep...I knew I'd quit this challenge just like I quit everything else when it gets, well, CHALLENGING" I've decided to write a different opening line.  Feel free to borrow it until you have your own version of "up until now."

Here goes nothing...

" Up until now I've quit when things got hard.  ESPECIALLY in relation to diet & exercise. I didn't quit on challenges or diets or programs. I quit on ME. But NOW...well, now I know that I am worth it. "IT" being life. MY life. The life I always wanted. And in reality, the life I am living most weeks. Except this week, apparently. But that's ok. Everyone gets a vacation now & then...even "healthy me." But she dropped me a line from Cookieville. Turns out she's really excited to get home & sleep in her own bed. And wake up to protein pancakes, a house full of veggies, & 90-minute long runs at sunrise. Yep, up until now I've quit. But I'm learning not to do that any more. And this choice to recommit feels different than all the others... so I'm gonna go with it!"

Up until now I've quit when things got hard.  
ESPECIALLY in relation to diet & exercise.
I didn't quit on challenges or diets or programs. I quit on ME.
But NOW...well, now I know that I am worth it.
"IT" being life. MY life. The life I always wanted.
And in reality, the life I am living most weeks.
Except this week, apparently. But that's ok.
Everyone gets a vacation now & then...even "healthy me."
But she dropped me a line from Cookieville.
Turns out she's really excited to get home & sleep in her own bed.
And wake up to protein pancakes, a house full of veggies, &
90-minute long runs at sunrise.
Yep, up until now I've quit. But I'm learning not to do that any more.
And this choice to recommit feels different than all the others...
so I'm gonna go with it!

Is it the perfect answer?  Well, no.  That answer sailed ship when I double fisted stacks of cookies because "hey...I rode my bike a long way today!"

Is it the right answer?  Uh...not sure.  Is there ever really a "right" answer to this kind of stuff?  A manual that's worked for every living soul who's ever fallen off the proverbial wagon & wanted to get back on but was embarrassed about falling in the first place & couldn't stop thinking about those freakin' cookies that tempted her off to begin with?!  I'm thinking not.

But you know what it is?  It's MY answer.  

Up until now that was never enough.  But I'm learning that MY answer is actually the best one.  For me.  In this moment.  So I'm gonna try it out & see how it goes.

What's YOUR answer?!  

For a look at where this idea started...check out how inspiration struck me as I swam laps in the "Motivation Minute" below:

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Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think a reminder that "this time it CAN be different" might help a woman you know step into her power more fully...PLEASE SHARE!!  Special thanks to my amazing friend Katie of KatieTassone.com for spending almost two whole weeks in my home sharing her Aussie wisdom with me & reminding me about all the unique things I have to share with the world, thus inspiring me to get sharing via my blog!

This post brought to you by Leslie Riley (formerly known as Leslie Stein) & the ever growing human in her belly who reminds her every day that life is about moving forward & giving birth to what's next...not just staying with what's comfortable today.  

Ready to POP, indeed!!

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Super Truth: Being Scared is Absolutely FINE.

1/19/2017

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PictureAm I READY to pop?! Physically maybe...but mentally I am still not there yet!
This morning on Facebook, one of my friends asked, “What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done that you’re super proud of having done?”

Almost without thinking, I responded “In the midst of my first pregnancy right now...which I can honestly say is pretty terrifying!”


How can this be?! I am a person who travels alone in far off lands, jumps out of planes, hang glides in the Alps, & flew helicopters in the army for 7 years. But a BABY?! How on earth could a tiny still-not-fully-formed human fill me with such terror?! Not the easiest thing in the world to admit, even to myself, since literally BILLIONS of people before me have done this whole pregnancy thing...and most of them survived. But it’s true.

I am terrified.


So far, pregnancy has not been the peachy, glowing experience I thought it would be. I’m not sure why I delusionally thought that because I was pretty healthy & took care of myself going into this thing that I would have it easy. But boy...has that NOT been the case.

PictureHard to complain too much when this was the scene pre-fear...but oh how I miss the fairytale days!
Along with all the “normal” fun pregnancy things--the horrible nausea that no amount of saltines can quell (aka: morning sickness--or as we like to call it in our house, all day sickness); a heightened sense of smell that made me banish my husband from the house when he drank coffee during my first trimester...or showered (because soap smell...EWW!); & the COMPLETE loss of control of gas exiting my body (and sometimes a little pee)--I have also had some other not-so-fun symptoms that made it virtually impossible to keep working during my first & much of my second trimester. I’ll spare you the gory (and I do mean gory) details. But let’s just say I have ended up in the emergency room for dehydration and that for a stretch of several weeks, pooping involved rubber gloves & coconut oil. Not my proudest moments.

What the hell have I gotten myself into?

I’m a newlywed...shouldn’t I be having lots of sex & enjoying settling into life with my new husband? While my uncontrollable gas is quite musical & occasionally makes us chuckle (mostly because it always seems to catch me by surprise that my body can make such ridiculous, unexpected noises), the height of romance is not achieved by accidentally farting on your husband while he tries to lovingly give you a foot massage.

Also, Universe...I know you gave us an epic love story that is literally one in a million & a wedding held at a castle in a far-off, exotic land with the people we love most in life there for a whole week to bond in ways we could not imagine...but can you cut us a friggin’ break with all the other neat stuff you’ve sent our way?

PictureMy sweet hubby took my car to be cleaned & filled w/ gas...and this is what happened. We joke that he LITERALLY crushed my (Kia) Soul.
While I work really, really hard at always seeing the positive, it’s hard to overlook the fact that in 3 months leading up to the wedding we totalled one car, had a savings account hacked & drained of several thousand dollars, which we STILL don’t have back (side note: Can someone please tell me exactly what the benefit of FDIC insurance is at a bank if not to cover events like this?), AND my husband was laid off. None of these things were big deals individually...but collectively they’ve got me wanting scream at the top of my lungs, “COME ON, ALREADY!!!”

Especially since my poor husband is STILL looking for a job. And I wasn’t able to work for 5 months (and can’t travel now, which for what I do basically means, no work). And babies ain’t cheap. I mean, seriously. Have I mentioned I have had the thought more than once, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?”

And on top of all that, I keep waiting for the magical moment when I feel a special bond with the baby. “Oh, it kicked! That felt like magic wrapped in fairy kisses!”

But that hasn’t happened. 

Mostly it just feels like there is a very expensive alien growing inside of me that has co-opted my body & somehow sucked me dry of all the pieces of me I knew & loved (you know...the productive bits that never missed a spin class, had energy to keep the house clean, & did silly little things like work and make money), & replaced them with a gassy, constipated, nauseous woman who waddles instead of walks, takes 5 different medications daily to combat the side effects of pregnancy, and longs for a decent night’s sleep. Just one decent night..

Thankfully, I have a friend in town who INSISTED I watch “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” last night. Friends are smart. I am glad I picked good ones.

After chuckling about the different kinds of pregnancies portrayed in the movie, I really resonated with the character who had the worst pregnancy. All she wanted was the damn glow she’d been dreaming of. But that was NOT the pregnancy she got. Instead she had most of my horrid symptoms (poor woman) & ends up going on a rant about it while on stage while speaking that gets caught on video & goes viral. Oops. (Side note: Maybe i should be glad I had to stop training & speaking before I caused my own viral tirade! Haha!)

But in the end, when the baby is in this character’s arms, she looks at her husband & says, “I finally found my glow.”

Enter pregnancy hormones & my teary-eyed hope that this is what happens for me when the doctor finally puts the baby in my arms.

Because despite the fact I feel like my uterus has been invaded by an alien and I am not feeling the magic wrapped in fairy kisses that I thought I was supposed to feel...I do understand the miracle-like nature of all that is happening. I am in awe of my body & what it is able to do to accommodate said alien. Pretty incredible really. In fact, despite not feeling my best, I have still managed to drag myself to quite a few spin classes, several weight training sessions, on a lot of long walks, jogged one 5k “turkey trot,” & even completed one indoor triathlon at 27 weeks pregnant. Not so bad for a girl who isn’t feeling so hot 98% of the day.

I guess all of this is proof I am human. Even though I may try to wrap myself in a cape & tiara most days to overcome it. The truth is...we all are. Not one of us is immune to the ups & downs of life. Some of us are just better at celebrating the ups & laughing our way through the downs. Which is why I guess I should thank my musical farts & newest editions of epicly bad poop stories...because despite the embarrassment, oh have they made me laugh.

So here’s to being human. Fear and all. My greatest hope is that I leave this planet with no emotion left un-experienced. 

Thank you pregnancy for giving me 37 new ones I never knew existed.


Now if you’ll excuse me, 3 medications & an afternoon nap await.

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Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think another mom-to-be might need to know she's not alone...please share!!  Special thanks to Buzz Covington of Buzz Covington Photography  for the amazing maternity photos!

This post brought to you by Leslie Riley (formerly known as Leslie Stein) & the tiny human in her belly who is already one of her greatest teachers.

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    Leslie Riley
    AKA SUPERSOL

    Picture
    Meet Leslie.  Some  call her by her name.  Others call her Wonder Woman.  Everyone calls her an inspiration! Lover of all things Wonder Woman...including a pair of adult underoos she wore during her first Ironman 70.3 triathlon.  Mostly because committing to her own health moved her from one end of the health scale to the other.  When she started training in July 2012, she couldn't do a sit up or run a single mile.  She also thought green smoothies & protein bars were a waste of calories.  What a difference 9 months makes...

    In May 2013 Leslie completed her first Ironman 70.3 event.  In December 2013 she run a 50K trail race.  AND...she now thinks green smoothies & protein bars are delicious.  Proof that anything is possible when you have the right attitude & are ready to believe in yourself. 
    

    MH 
    AKA MAMMARAZZI

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    Meet MH, marketing and sales guru moving the mountains and delivering the happiness while donning her SUPER MOMMA cape! She is a beautiful and bold Southern Belle from the state of Texas! Currently living in the cold tundra of Michigan with her husband of 13 years and her 3 daughters that keep her days full of surprise and adventure! MH is currently training for her first half marathon which includes daily training of running after her 3 year old toddler and finding other creative ways to build smiles into all those miles. MH Rocks and is going to bring the Mammarazzi to her blogs!

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