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SUPER TRUTH: Baby Steps Eventually Add Up To Leaps & Bounds

5/31/2017

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PictureI love the OM-mazing benefits of doing a little yoga a day! Also love this pic by the talented Stacie Frazier!
Sometimes my life happens in axioms & inspirational sayings.  Or at least those are what run through my head a couple hundred times a day.  Lately, the one bouncing around most often is something I heard from a yoga teacher I met on my first ever yoga retreat back in 2001:

“It’s better to do a little bit a lot, than to do a lot a little bit.”

He was encouraging us to make yoga a daily practice.  He explained that if we were runners, it would be better to run 2 miles per day than to run a marathon once a month.

At the time I was in the army & did a lot more running than yoga, so this made perfect sense to me.  I knew that running 2 miles wasn’t too strenuous, could be done in minutes (about 18 for me at the time, now more like 24...haha!) & didn’t require much recovery time--making it an easy commitment.  Running a marathon, on the other hand, was much more difficult, took several hours & involved significant recovery time compared to a quick few miles--making it much easier to blow off because it was a HUGE commitment.

We are more likely to commit to little things we perceive as easy than to big, hairy ones that sound scary or difficult.  Not just physically...but in life.  

I was reminded of this again just before giving birth when I met up with a couple I know for lunch.  They shared that they made a tracking sheet of the things they wanted to ensure they would do every day after their first baby was born.  These weren’t earth shattering things or life goals like “write one chapter of my next book each day.”  They were more along the lines of “brush my teeth,” “take a shower,” & “have at least one adult conversation that doesn’t revolve around poop.”  The kinds of things that can easily fall through the cracks when you are a sleep deprived new parent.  Little things...but important things.

This brought to mind a business axiom I had heard (& taught) many times: “what you measure matters.”  In other words, what you think is important enough to track, you generally spend your most energy on.  I not only believe this to be true in business...but in the rest of life as well.  

Over the years, I have put my focus on tracking many things from found money (if you don’t know about my penny project, you are probably new here.  Check out the first comment for the website & book that flowed from this 10+ year ongoing process that’s allowed me to collect almost $5,000 for charity + random acts of kindness) to the food I consumed as I was learning about fitness & nutrition while I trained for my first 70.3 Ironman race (I lost 17 pounds in the process).  

What did I learn from all this?!  That the things I track, put on my calendar, or set reminders for are the things that get done.  Everything else is a maybe at best.  Not to mention, these little things I focus on really start to add up over time!

PictureMy talented hubby & his soul feeding art! Click this picture to visit his Patreon site where you can see what he's been creating!
Before giving birth, my hubby & I sat down to discuss what was important to us during the early weeks of parenting our newborn.  What little things did we want to make sure did NOT slip through the cracks.  Much of it was the same as our friends had suggested (showers, teeth brushing, & one non-poop related conversation per day).  But each of us also had one item that reflected who we are as individuals.  For me it was time to exercise (movement not only makes for a healthy body, but feeds my soul as well...not to mention it was “doctor’s orders” to walk 30 minutes a day as part of my c-section recovery).  For my husband it was time to paint (creativity is what feeds his soul).

Tonight as I rounded the corner of my last 30-minute walk before seeing the doctor tomorrow  to get cleared for a return to normal workouts, I wondered just how far I had gone.  Hard to tell when you are walking the same 0.3-mile loop around your condo complex over & over again. This was so I could be nearby if hubby texted in a panic that the kid needed a boob to feed on STAT...which only happened once, but was enough to scare a new mama into staying close.  Better to walk 30 minutes in 10-minute increments with feedings in between than not to walk at all.

Thankfully, I had tracked each of my nightly walks on the MapMyFitness app, so I could find out EXACTLY how far Ihad walked!  To my delight,  in the 6 weeks & 1 day since Lena was born, I have walked 72.3 miles.  That’s 241 times around the complex.  Not bad, eh?!

I’m also happy to report a few other things:

  • (1) Although there were nights I did NOT want to get off the couch (partly because I prefer daytime workouts...but baby disagreed with this schedule), I only skipped 5 days of walking.  It’s important to note, I ALWAYS felt better at the end of those tough nightly walks than I did at the beginning.

  • (2) I never got bored in those 241 loops around the same tiny (and arguably boring) piece of real estate, which could have easily happened.  Instead, I took each lap as an opportunity to grow my mind.   I used a combo of upbeat music, the Deepak Chopra/Oprah 21-day meditation series, and inspirational podcasts (Chris Harder’s “For the Love of Money” about business & Lori Harder’s “Earn Your Happy” about living your happiest life--both very much worth checking out if you are into podcasts) to make each loop a new adventure & an avalanche of inspiring ideas.

  • (3) I wasn’t the only one who kept her commitment to do what feeds her soul. My husband created 39 art pieces (a mix of paintings & drawings) in those 6 weeks.  No small feat since he did that all while being on the night shift with a hungry + gassy newborn.

It’s amazing what two people can accomplish, even during the most stressful of times, when they commit to supporting each other in taking time to do what feeds their souls.  As much as I love my new baby, I love my husband even more for supporting me to take great care of her AND to keep taking great care of me too (the man did ALL the grocery shopping over the last 6 weeks, most of the laundry,  and the lion’s share of diaper changes + baby burping so I could stay rested for late night feedings).


Looking back I can see that each 30-minute walk I committed to became part of an overall distance I couldn’t have imagined traveling over the last six weeks.  Not just the distance I covered with my feet, but also the leaps & bounds my soul took by staying committed to my own self care during a crazy time, the even greater depth of love I found for my husband for staying committed to his creative soul work, and the increased strength of our relationship discovered by supporting each other in what we need most.

Baby steps can seem insignificant when we are taking them.  But when we turn back around to see the ground we’ve covered, we see that they weren’t insignificant at all.  They were massive, meaningful, & perhaps the best parts of who we have become.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a baby-sized bite of ice cream with my name on it. If I’m lucky, those bites will add up to polished off pint in no time! ;-)​

***AUTHOR’S NOTE: Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors...this piece (along with everything else I’ve shared lately) was written in 5-10 minute chunks between feedings & diaper changes.  Gotta love those baby steps!***



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Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear that baby steps add up...PLEASE SHARE!!  We all need reminders about  that the little things we do matter AND...they add up!   Thanks to those who teach & remind me when I forget the importance of the little things.

This post brought to you by a 42-year old first time mom who's (mostly) loving the journey.  Although I am not "officially" back to work until the fall, I do have a few coaching spots open if you could use a dose of this outlook in your life.  Nothing makes me happier than helping people find the baby steps they can take to get them closer to their dream lives!!

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SUPER TRUTH: You Can Have a Good Day or a Good Story

5/27/2017

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PictureDaddy does his best to get baby to sleep...sometimes it even works!
Earlier this week, my sweet husband wandered into our bedroom around 7am looking like a distraught zombie.  Behind him rolled the bassinet containing our 5 week old daughter.

“I can’t take any more.  She hasn’t slept for more than 10 or 15 minutes all night long.  I.  Need. Sleep.”  

Or at least that’s what I think he said.  His words were not all that intelligible in the wee hours of morning as the sun began to peek through our blinds.

He happens to be on the baby night shift, something I am more than a little grateful for since it allows me to get actual sleep between feedings, while he handles diaper changes, burping, & rocking the baby back to sleep.  Although that night, she didn’t seem to be interested in the going back to sleep part.

Given all the times I’d been able to stay in bed until 9am, I quite happily started my shift early that day so my weary partner could get a little shut eye.

Later that night as I took my 30-minute walk, some daily “me time” to clear my head & help heal my body from the c-section I ended up having, I was listening to a podcast called “Earn Your Happy” with Lori Harder that had me thinking about my own happiness, both in my pre-baby career as a facilitator & in my new role as a mother.

**Sidenote: If you’re into positivity, podcasts, growth, or being generally awesome...you should definitely check it out on iTunes or at www.loriharder.com.**

PictureThe best way to get good at something is to jump in and DO IT!
When I was teaching, I often used to tell my facilitation students that no matter how many tools, tips, & techniques I shared with them, the best teacher was experience.  The only way to become a really good facilitator (or a really good anything for that matter) was to get out there and DO IT!​

The thing about putting yourself out there & doing whatever it is you’re trying to master is that when you start out, you might do it in a not so masterful way.  There’s any number of reasons something may not go well...but mostly it’s just the law of averages. No one gets it right 100% of the time, especially not right out of the gate.  

As a facilitator, I have gotten it wrong plenty of times.  Occasionally getting it wrong meant we didn’t accomplish what we set out to do.  But mostly it just meant the ride was a little bumpier than planned.

Like the time the printed materials never made it to the client site & we had to improvise for the first day while FedEx printed up new (very expensive) replacement materials.

Or the time the room we got was a computer lab instead of a classroom & participants had to crane their necks up, over, & around ginormous computer screens to see the flip charts & talk to their groupmates for exercises.

Or the time I put the event in my calendar on the wrong date & had to pay out of pocket for a very expensive last minute airfare change.

Or the time the client asked for a partial refund because they weren’t happy that I didn’t use every single printed material that my sales rep had shipped (despite participants being wildly happy during the event). 
Or the time the class was promised & sold at 50% over capacity in a classroom that was WAY too small and I literally had to give up bathroom breaks + lunch to complete all the video recorded final facilitation exercises on the last day (my pee-pee dance moves were strong that day!).

Or the time I accidentally forgot to give one student a card with his “your dysfunctional meeting behavior to act out during the final session is…” assignment.  He believed I’d done it intentionally because I thought that his being gay was dysfunctional enough.  Not coincidentally, this was also the day I broke down in tears in front of a class full students when he said that outloud during our closing circle.  At least I got to tell him what really happened--I had simply not seen his name on the sign up sheet because it was blocked from view in the place where I sat to write out the assignments.

Or the time a man walked up to me on a break during a public offering of my facilitation course  as I was preparing flip charts for the next exercise & said, “I need to get my shit together.”  
Me (assuming he was being a little hard on himself): “Okay, how can I help you?”
“I just found out my son died,” he replied.
Suddenly the flipcharts (and the entire class) became a MUCH lower priority.

PictureSuccess feels so good!! But don't forget it's the learning from the failures that gets you there!
Reading this list of events you might think, “Wow...she must be a disaster as a facilitator...espcially if all these things happened to her.  Better look elsewhere for my facilitation needs!”
 
I can see how you might come to that conclusion!  But the truth is, this list only tells part of the story.  It doesn’t include the hundreds of successful sessions I’ve lead.  Also, none of these things happened TO me.  They happened FOR me.  It is through these events that I learned how to deal with people in a much deeper capacity than course materials or a meeting agenda could have lead to.  
 
What I learned along the way is that as a facilitator I either had a “good day” (i.e. the session was a home run) OR I had a “good story” (which meant the session may have been a little bumpy...but damn was that a juicy experience I could draw from to teach future classes).
 
In the beginning of any endeavor where we hope to master a new skill, we usually have more “good stories” (or hellish nightmares as they sometimes feel like) than we’d probably like.  But as we learn, grow, & master the skills needed to succeed, we find ourselves having more “good days.”  
 
But I think there’s an even better phase beyond that.
 
When I really hit my stride as a facilitator, I found that even during events that gave me some of those “good stories” I knew I’d be sharing with future classes, I was able to experience those moments as “good days” too.  It’s like the line between what made a good & bad experience had been erased and all that was left was living whatever experience was in front of me.  In fact, I came to see the crazy moments that had previously been unwanted (and quite honestly, avoided at all costs) as some of my most treasured memories.  Were they easy to navigate?  No.  But what valuable things in life really are?

PictureMessy hair don't care! I was a mess after 31 hours of labor & a c-section...but I'd never been happier. It was a good story AND a good day!
Back to my poor, sleep deprived husband & his night of sleep in 10-minute increments.  Not what I’d call the makings of a “good day” in the land of parenting.  But I will never forget his face as he tried to cobble together words to form a sentence that properly conveyed the hellish nature of his night shift with a baby who would much rather party into the wee hours than sleep.  A good story for sure.

It’s easy for me to see a good story when I am outside of it.  Now the trick is learning how to see them when they are happening to me as a mom, just like I did when I was a facilitator.  

Like when I was fresh out of the hospital & had to tuck into the fetal position to sneeze so I wouldn’t bust open my c-section scar.  

Or the first time I used the carseat/stroller combo on my own & had to ask a stranger to help me figure out how to get the carseat out of the stroller...and then couldn’t fold the stroller up, so threw it in my car as is just to get my poor baby out of the hot sun.

Or the several times in just 5 weeks that I can’t remember the last time I showered.  Had it been days?  Weeks?

Or when the baby poops all over the changing table before I can swap out diapers.  

Not my best days...but perhaps my best stories someday.

I don’t want to be in such a rush to win a “mom of the year” award that I hurry through the “good story” moments like I did at the beginning of my facilitation career.  This time I don’t have anything to prove to anyone (truth be told, I didn’t really then either...I just thought I did).  All I need to do is enjoy the ride.  Bumps and all.

Now if you’ll excuse me...my nose is telling me I probably didn’t shower yesterday.  Or the day before.  Don’t judge!  I’m making a "good story!" ;-)



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Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think someone you know needs to hear they can turn a BAD day into a GOOD story...PLEASE SHARE!!  We all need reminders about the fact we're each humans doing the best we can.   Thanks to those who teach & remind me when I get cranky & forget to practice what I write!

This post brought to you by a 42-year old first time mom who's loving the journey.  Although I am not "officially" back to work until the fall, I do have a few coaching spots open if you could use a dose of this outlook in your life.  Nothing makes me happier than helping people find & write their best stories!

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    Leslie Riley
    AKA SUPERSOL

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    Meet Leslie.  Some  call her by her name.  Others call her Wonder Woman.  Everyone calls her an inspiration! Lover of all things Wonder Woman...including a pair of adult underoos she wore during her first Ironman 70.3 triathlon.  Mostly because committing to her own health moved her from one end of the health scale to the other.  When she started training in July 2012, she couldn't do a sit up or run a single mile.  She also thought green smoothies & protein bars were a waste of calories.  What a difference 9 months makes...

    In May 2013 Leslie completed her first Ironman 70.3 event.  In December 2013 she run a 50K trail race.  AND...she now thinks green smoothies & protein bars are delicious.  Proof that anything is possible when you have the right attitude & are ready to believe in yourself. 
    

    MH 
    AKA MAMMARAZZI

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    Meet MH, marketing and sales guru moving the mountains and delivering the happiness while donning her SUPER MOMMA cape! She is a beautiful and bold Southern Belle from the state of Texas! Currently living in the cold tundra of Michigan with her husband of 13 years and her 3 daughters that keep her days full of surprise and adventure! MH is currently training for her first half marathon which includes daily training of running after her 3 year old toddler and finding other creative ways to build smiles into all those miles. MH Rocks and is going to bring the Mammarazzi to her blogs!

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