On the set of "The Secrets of the Keys" with Don Miguel Ruiz. Recently I participated in a film project with someone I have admired for ages—Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, a spiritual book that has been guiding me since I first picked it up in 1999. It’s one of only two books I’ve read more than once as an adult…and will probably read many more times in my life.
Just like many things in life, the book’s message is simple…but not easy. Each of us has likely heard it’s four main concepts a million times…and forgotten just as often.
I ask myself frequently if my thoughts & actions are in accordance with the agreements. After 15 years of working really hard at it, I find that much of the time they are. When they are not, I usually don’t feel so good. So I try to figure out what WOULD align with the agreements & think or do that instead.
But it was a new idea that caught my attention the day I got to spend on the set with Miguel. A question, actually.
Just like many things in life, the book’s message is simple…but not easy. Each of us has likely heard it’s four main concepts a million times…and forgotten just as often.
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best.
I ask myself frequently if my thoughts & actions are in accordance with the agreements. After 15 years of working really hard at it, I find that much of the time they are. When they are not, I usually don’t feel so good. So I try to figure out what WOULD align with the agreements & think or do that instead.
But it was a new idea that caught my attention the day I got to spend on the set with Miguel. A question, actually.
What kind of messenger are you?
Don Miguel Ruiz & Michael Bernard Beckwith He said each of us is here as a messenger…to share something only we can. To spread an idea. To live a purpose. To fulfill our greatest potential.
The conversation stopped me dead in my tracks. Am I living my purpose? Delivering my message? Am I even sure what the heck my message IS?!
The question has been floating around my mind since I left the set that day. And it occurs to me that just like his Four Agreements…this question is so simple, and yet we all remember & forget it a hundred times. Maybe even a hundred times TODAY!
The thing about purpose is that we’re likely to be living it when we’re not trying too hard. In those moments when we’re just being ourselves & having a great time. When we’ve stopped TRYING to be someone we think we SHOULD be and just being who we truly are.
But then we talk ourselves out of the idea that being ourselves could possibly be enough. We figure anything that comes to us that easily isn’t worth anything. How could it be? Besides…life is supposed to be harder than that, right?
The conversation stopped me dead in my tracks. Am I living my purpose? Delivering my message? Am I even sure what the heck my message IS?!
The question has been floating around my mind since I left the set that day. And it occurs to me that just like his Four Agreements…this question is so simple, and yet we all remember & forget it a hundred times. Maybe even a hundred times TODAY!
The thing about purpose is that we’re likely to be living it when we’re not trying too hard. In those moments when we’re just being ourselves & having a great time. When we’ve stopped TRYING to be someone we think we SHOULD be and just being who we truly are.
But then we talk ourselves out of the idea that being ourselves could possibly be enough. We figure anything that comes to us that easily isn’t worth anything. How could it be? Besides…life is supposed to be harder than that, right?
I am calling BULL on easy being worthless! Well…no. I am calling BULL & throwing a penalty flag. Life is NOT supposed to be harder than that. We’ve just made up a bunch of silly rules & complicated structures that make it feel that way.
Look…I’m not saying I have all the answers or even that I have my purpose figured out once and for all. But I sure love the question.
And when I think about it…I believe I’m being the messenger I came to be when I AM just being myself. Laughing. Appreciating what I have. Spreading happiness. Making every moment as fun as humanly possible…even the tough ones.
I know, I know…it’s not so wonderful to take out the trash, pay the bills, or lose someone you love. But guess what? All of those things are part of life. The question isn’t “How do I avoid them?” (Spoiler Alert: You can’t!). The question is, “Am I going to approach them with a scowl on my face…or a smile?” THAT you do get to decide.
And since smiling feels more on purpose than scowling, I say why not try to do a little more of it? Yes, even in the face of garbage removal, debt reduction, & saying goodbye.
What I have learned about my own purpose over the years is this: deep down, I really DO know what it is. I just haven’t wanted to say it out loud because it has never seemed like enough. But am I being the kind of messenger I came to be if I don’t acknowledge it? Sure doesn’t feel like it.
So…It’s time to share. Luminous or lame, here is my purpose as I see it:
Look…I’m not saying I have all the answers or even that I have my purpose figured out once and for all. But I sure love the question.
And when I think about it…I believe I’m being the messenger I came to be when I AM just being myself. Laughing. Appreciating what I have. Spreading happiness. Making every moment as fun as humanly possible…even the tough ones.
I know, I know…it’s not so wonderful to take out the trash, pay the bills, or lose someone you love. But guess what? All of those things are part of life. The question isn’t “How do I avoid them?” (Spoiler Alert: You can’t!). The question is, “Am I going to approach them with a scowl on my face…or a smile?” THAT you do get to decide.
And since smiling feels more on purpose than scowling, I say why not try to do a little more of it? Yes, even in the face of garbage removal, debt reduction, & saying goodbye.
What I have learned about my own purpose over the years is this: deep down, I really DO know what it is. I just haven’t wanted to say it out loud because it has never seemed like enough. But am I being the kind of messenger I came to be if I don’t acknowledge it? Sure doesn’t feel like it.
So…It’s time to share. Luminous or lame, here is my purpose as I see it:
I am a messenger of goofiness.
ESPECIALLY in the places where goofiness has no place.
Because when we forget how to smile, we have forgotten how to live.
And we are here, after all, to LIVE!
Laughing & playing with my BFF & her family. Yep. That’s it.
You know what they say about comparison being the thief of joy? Well…when I think about people like Gandhi & Mother Theresa changing the WORLD by living their purposes, I definitely question whether my purpose matters. Compared to others, it seems so small.
But then I think of my friend Allen asking if I would sit at the front of the church as he delivered the eulogy for his dad’s funeral. Turns out he need someone to give him a big goofy grin if he started to cry. And that someone was me.
Of course, I said yes (must’ve known it was an “on purpose” moment). Because of his request, I knew that all the work I’d done to build the muscle that helps me stay present and HAPPY no matter what life throws my way…MATTERS. That my goofiness has power. That my presence makes a difference. And that I do, in fact, have a purpose.
And…so do you. The question is, are you willing to admit it?
You know what they say about comparison being the thief of joy? Well…when I think about people like Gandhi & Mother Theresa changing the WORLD by living their purposes, I definitely question whether my purpose matters. Compared to others, it seems so small.
But then I think of my friend Allen asking if I would sit at the front of the church as he delivered the eulogy for his dad’s funeral. Turns out he need someone to give him a big goofy grin if he started to cry. And that someone was me.
Of course, I said yes (must’ve known it was an “on purpose” moment). Because of his request, I knew that all the work I’d done to build the muscle that helps me stay present and HAPPY no matter what life throws my way…MATTERS. That my goofiness has power. That my presence makes a difference. And that I do, in fact, have a purpose.
And…so do you. The question is, are you willing to admit it?
The Messenger
I have a purpose.
And so do you.
I cannot tell it to you, for that is not my business.
But I can share mine in the hopes it will inspire you to remember your own.
I am a messenger of goofiness.
Because laughter is aliveness…and to be alive is what we came for.
I am on purpose when I belly laugh.
I am lost when I try to “figure it out.”
I am on purpose when I trust.
I am unhappy when I become skeptical.
I am on purpose when I’m curious.
I am shut down when I know.
I am on purpose when I am myself.
I am false when I aim to please & impress.
I am on purpose when I live in the moment.
I am disconnected when I worry about the past.
I am on purpose when I believe in the goodness of people.
I am unconscious when I doubt them.
I have a purpose.
And so do you.
I cannot force you to seek it, for that is not my business.
But I can hope you want to remember.
To be found.
To be happy.
To be open.
To be true.
To be connected.
To be conscious.
I have a purpose.
And so do you.
Leslie Stein—July 9, 2014
I have a purpose.
And so do you.
I cannot tell it to you, for that is not my business.
But I can share mine in the hopes it will inspire you to remember your own.
I am a messenger of goofiness.
Because laughter is aliveness…and to be alive is what we came for.
I am on purpose when I belly laugh.
I am lost when I try to “figure it out.”
I am on purpose when I trust.
I am unhappy when I become skeptical.
I am on purpose when I’m curious.
I am shut down when I know.
I am on purpose when I am myself.
I am false when I aim to please & impress.
I am on purpose when I live in the moment.
I am disconnected when I worry about the past.
I am on purpose when I believe in the goodness of people.
I am unconscious when I doubt them.
I have a purpose.
And so do you.
I cannot force you to seek it, for that is not my business.
But I can hope you want to remember.
To be found.
To be happy.
To be open.
To be true.
To be connected.
To be conscious.
I have a purpose.
And so do you.
Leslie Stein—July 9, 2014
Thank you for reading!! If you enjoyed this post or think a "purpose pep talk" might help a woman you know step into her power more fully...please share!! Special thanks to Robin Jay of The Key Movies for the amazing opportunity to share this experience with an author I so greatly appreciate & admire!
This post brought to you by Leslie Stein & the number 10. Because life is grand and YOU...are...a...10!!!
This post brought to you by Leslie Stein & the number 10. Because life is grand and YOU...are...a...10!!!
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