You’re probably wondering what baseball has to do with dating, commitment, falling in love, marriage, divorce, hours spent on E-Harmony, or dreaded blind dates? Well a lot actually as I am sitting here trying to figure out a way to visually explain my own journey the link between the two seemed obvious. In baseball there are three bases, each one symbolic of getting closer to the main goal of scoring a run. There are different positions in baseball like pitcher, catcher, and outfielder. You can make big homeruns or major strikeouts. Sometimes you get pegged with a ball going 100 mph per hour “OUCH!” Other times you slide into home and you have a welt of honor down your whole leg. To me all of the relationships I have been in have contained strikeouts, homeruns, and oh boy have I been pegged with a few fastballs.
I walked myself through the bases on my second marriage going the safe route and watching out for the 100 mph fastballs that hurt like hell! Unfortunately, the safe route isn’t always the right route. You know the route where you settle, where you know that no matter what you are not going to get hurt, and even if it fails you can still recover quite quickly. I would always know if I was taking the “safe route,” because I would say things like “he’s a really good friend,” or “yeah, but he is really funny.” It was always quite amusing to me when my family would scratch their heads at some of the guys I would date and my mom would say something like “really… are you kidding me?”
So after major strikeouts, walking the bases, and getting pegged a few times I decided it was time to take a break from the game. My game was off, I wasn’t catching well, and I hadn’t really hit any balls out of the park. I left the game for nine months to reflect on myself, what I wanted, who I was, what was working, and what wasn’t working. It was initially easier for me to say that my teammates were dropping the ball. However, it wasn’t the route I chose to take and it was damn hard to take responsibility for my own part in how I was playing the game.
I don’t know about you, but for a long time I thought I was cursed, meant to be single for the rest of my life, and seriously considered becoming the “cat lady.” This was only a tale I told myself when things seemed perilous, impossible, and lonely. I think as humans we all feel this way sometimes and that we also all yearn for human connection with someone who is “our person.” Your person, the one who gets you, the one that has a read on you without speaking a word, and the one that doesn’t make you feel like you’re trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is actually out there somewhere. The person that you have a connection with that seems as natural as the process of waking up and going to sleep is truly in the universe waiting for you. The secret is tuning into your own game and taking every opportunity to “knock it out of the park.”